Have you ever been on a double date and noticed your friends have too much “PDA” going on? Well, either they both have BIG love tanks that need to be filled with having a “Physical Touch” love language or they are just really emotionally connected and enjoy being affectionate, romantic, and gentle with one another (NOT IN A “GO GET A ROOM” SENSE).
The Love Factor created a list of the amazing habits of highly sexual marriages.
• THESE SPOUSES AREN’T SEXUALLY SELFISH.
In case you didn’t realize this, sex isn’t about what you can get from it! If you go into the bedroom thinking only of yourself, then you might be what is called a ‘“selfish lover.” Sex should be a way for you and your spouse to express your love for each other. Good married sex means that BOTH of you are left feeling desired and pleased.
• THESE SPOUSES HAVE HIGH LEVELS OF TRUST AND RESPECT.
It’s been said that sex is the most intimate form of communication a couple can have. Sex is such an intimate expression of love, so couples who feel safe and can trust each other with their thoughts, feelings and ideas respect each other in and out of the bedroom. (FYI: Being naked and fully vulnerable during sex builds that trust and respect.) If your communication above the covers sucks, then your communication below the covers will too.
• THESE SPOUSES EMBRACE THEIR IMPERFECTIONS.
Couples who have great sex look past the unwanted hair, the stretch marks, the razor burn, the cellulite and the wrinkles. They love their spouse for more than just their physical appearance. Plus, they know what to focus on… all the good physical & emotional qualities.
• THESE SPOUSES DON’T RELY ON BEING IN THE MOOD.
Couples who have great sex realize that sex is essentially like “physical communication.” Instead of using your mouth to verbally communicate, sex is a physical way to use your body to communicate to your spouse “I love you”, “I choose you”, “I want you”, and “I trust you”.
So, in the same way your spouse needs to hear “I love you” even when you’re not in the mood to say it, sometimes sex is a great way to communicate that love on a deeper level, even when you aren’t in the mood.
IMPORTANT: Sex should never be forced on you and you should never force sex on your spouse. When your spouse is ‘not in the mood’, I mean “She/he is not feeling well, they are tired, or mentally exhausted”. Sex should always be consensual! Neither spouse is obligated to have sex with their partner. Sex with your spouse is not a right, it’s a privilege.
• THESE SPOUSES TALK ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL LIKES AND DISLIKES.
You’ve heard a very common phrase that “communication is key” to having a great and successful marriage. Well, communication is also key to having mind-blowing sex! If you’re having to make assumptions and guessing where and how your spouse likes to be touched, you both will be left with a lot of disappointments. Part of being vulnerable is being able to clearly talk about your sexual likes and dislikes and then you get to improve your technique because of open communication.
• THESE SPOUSES MAKE THE MOST OF ‘QUICKIES’.
Sometimes there are seasons of life, because we all can get very busy at times, where you only have 5 minutes to ‘get it on’ and 5 minutes is better than nothing. Couples who are highly sexual have healthy boundaries with their time so they can reserve enough passion for their spouse.
• SEX DOESN’T DEFINE THEIR RELATIONSHIP.
Couples who have made sex the biggest focal point of their relationship will be quickly disappointed if they go through a season where there isn’t much intimacy. Sex is an incredible way to connect, but it cannot be the only thing or the main focal point of your marriage. Successful marriages go on weekly date nights, they are playful with one another, they talk about their day and also deal with life’s personal and family issues head on.
It’s important to know and remember that physical intimacy is born from emotional intimacy.
If you are having emotional connection issues, connect with us… The Love Factor would love to help empower your marriage.
-Matt Rowe, The Love Factor